journey

When I first got into nursing, it was one part because when my grandma was hospitalized, I felt relieved to have a nurse explaining to me everything's that's happening. Having no medical background, it's not always easy to navigate the health system. I still remember receiving a call from my mom telling me that she is at the clinic with my grandma and that our family doctor wanted to call an ambulance to bring her to the emergency. When I got to the ER, my grandma was alert, just chilling on the wheelchair, but as soon as she sees the triage nurse, she was admitted right away on a stretcher. I was expecting a few hours wait, so seeing her fast track through the ER was something alarming. Obviously the first few hours, medical personnel came and left the room, never really telling me why she's on a stretcher. Heck, even my grandma and my mom didn't understand the reason for the visit to the ER. So there comes Michel, a RN who just started his shift, briefing me through the tests and the labs they did on granny, and what we were waiting for in order for granny to be discharged. I don't think I ever felt so powerless in front of a situation because I don't have the medical knowledge, nor was I given any information. So when Michel finally removed that big rock on my chest, I felt like I can finally be useful in my granny's situation by giving her the information and by giving my family members an update on granny's status. SO, after all this chabang, granny safely discharged and all, I reevaluated my choice of career. Man, how useless was this accounting degree. I wanted to be that person who could provide a sense of relief and support when time is hard, just like Michel.

The other reason why I decided to reorientate my career was because I wanted to do something useful if apocalypse was coming tomorrow. What can my accounting career provide me if tomorrow the economy is crashing and no business remains open. I THINK GOD HEARD ME, cuz look at me now. Not exactly an apocalypse, but close; just a few months after I graduate with my bachelor's. This isn't really what I wished for, but nurses are indeed part of the essential services. Although I feel like I'm more a soldier thrown into combat with only a knife because they didn't have time to teach me how to use a gun and money to actually buy guns.

We've been hearing about the pandemic for quite a while now, everyday, my hospital is coming up with new procedures and guidelines to take in charge people with covid19. I am frankly scared about my role in this pandemic. Since my clinical rotation in the ICU, that's where I have set my goal, to become an ICU nurse. Of course, it's not easy to get there because you don't just knock on the head nurse's door and ask to be transferred to the ICU. Because I didn't want to start working on a different unit every day post graduation, *and there's no place in the ICU*, I did some ER for a few months. It was fun while it lasted, but I know I don't have the personality to make ER my career. So when they called me last month for a position in the burn unit, I jumped on the occasion. I know they have the same training as ICU so I'll be one step closer to my goal. Fast forward today, started my "training" in the burn unit, but because of covid19, all classes are cancelled so I'm learning on the go. They even asked me if I want to work in the ICU because my workplace is officially taking transfers from other hospitals. Not exactly what I wished for... especially with no formal training.